How many conflicts could have been avoided with better communication? In a couple, knowing how to express yourself and listen to each other is fundamental. Here are the principles of compassionate communication.
What is compassionate communication?
Compassionate communication, also known as Nonviolent Communication (NVC), is an approach developed by Marshall Rosenberg. It aims to create a respectful dialogue where everyone can express themselves without hurting the other.
The 4 pillars of compassionate communication
1. Observe without judging
Describe facts without interpretation. Instead of saying "You never pay attention to me", prefer "Tonight, you looked at your phone while I was talking to you".
2. Express your feelings
Talk about what YOU feel: "I felt sad" rather than "You made me sad". Take responsibility for your emotions.
3. Identify your needs
Behind every emotion lies a need. "I need to feel heard" is more constructive than reproaches.
4. Make a clear request
Express what you would like: "Could we have a phone-free moment in the evening?" A concrete and positive request.
The quality of our communication determines the quality of our relationship.
